Women today are deciding to go against the normalcy of the dating rules their parents faced over thirty years ago. More women are braving the “cougar” and “cradle robber” jokes and are diving into the exciting world of dating younger men. And the young bucks aren’t complaining about it either. Older women dating younger men used to be a taboo in the dating world for sometime, and something that only the brave souls forgo-ed. Today, the hottest dating trend is seeing a younger man with an older woman, and it’s something that younger men are beginning to prefer.
According to the United States Census , there are over 42 million people in United States who are over 40 and single. Majority of them happen to be women. Rules have changed significantly, and women over 40 who were once looked as old(er), are now embraced as youthful exciting species. Dating over 40 was once looked down upon by some who lost touch with time, but today mid-life dating has a whole new meaning that requires a fresh mindset.
A poll conducted by AARP in 2009 showed that almost one third of women between ages 40 and 69 were dating younger men. Among that, one sixth of women in their forties preferred men as young as in their thirties. There’s a lot of positive hype around younger men-older women dating. The smart people of Hollywood have caught on with the explosion of on-screen romances between older women and younger men with shows such as Cougar Town and Sex in the City. Even in Canada were part of the hype with the crowning of Miss Cougar Canada, a 48-year-old single mother of two that is now the leader of the pack after winning the title of Miss Cougar Canada in 2010. Furthermore, cougar cruises are setting sail, cosmetic surgeons are cougarizing their clients, online cougar communities are cropping up, and dating websites such as Cougar Life.com, launched by Toronto’s own self-proclaimed cougar Claudia Opdenkelder are exploding with memberships.
What is it About Older Women That Attract Younger Men?
Looking back at my dating years, I’m not surprised that more younger men have a desire for older women. The same could be said for a lot of older women as well. I think there’s been a societal shift where women are now out-educating and their earning are showing, furthermore the self-esteem trends we used to see are shifting, and what used to be looked down upon by most in the society, today is very acceptable for an older woman to be dating a younger man.
Boys to Men
Women get caught up with this idea that men are immature, and for the most part I would agree with them. I did a lot of dumb immature things in my junior days – snapping bras, slapping butts and blowing in the ear were some of the more famous ones. In college I was an expert at dropping lines, until I met Michelle. Still to this day I wonder what she saw in me to date me. I was immature, and with a border complexion for line dropping. Dating Michelle was one of the best things happened to me in my dating life. I became more mature, and matured for the better.
I stopped acting like a college dude, but didn’t stop chasing tail. How could I possibly stop, my game was only getting better. I figured out that one thing all women desire in a guy is a sense of humor, and for me using humor along with goofiness is the path of least resistance.
More importantly I discovered a niche. There were very few younger men dating older women, and a lot had to do with them bring afraid of rejection by the mature counterparts, therefore they stayed away. I used this to my advantage, and while my friends were running around and driving girls to malls for their weekend shopping trips, I was having upscale dinners, weekend getaways , trips to museums and many other “mature” activities.
Yet as I get older, dating only gets better. As a younger guy who has dated older women, now we (men) get to date more and more women since there are more women to choose from – younger and older. Meanwhile, as women get older, they’re realizing that they don’t want to be dating their dad, who also happens to be trapped in a 70s fashion sense and stuck in his own ways.
Sam from Financial Samurai wrote a very intriguing post titled, ” Why Single Men Love Growing Old “. A brilliant post, which totally reminded me of my self. The picture of the two donkeys is the only thing that I don’t get from the post, but I whole hardheartedly agreed that the ideal age for men to get married is 35, or as Sam refers to it as “The Golden Cross”. By the time most men hit their mid-thirties, they’ve established them selves with a home, nicer car, career and money in the bank account. Makes a whole lot of sense to me.
Nobody likes dating an insecure slob. For the most part, that’s what you get with dating in the twenties. Fact is younger women are quite insecure. Rather than being them selves, they’re working over-time to impress family members, friends, and everyone in between, rather than just doing their own thing without much thought on what others will think, say or react. Furthermore, too much emphasis is placed on breast size, body shape, cellulite, weight, and ordering one crouton for lunch and then sharing it with friends in order to keep the size “0″.
It’s no wonder their male counterparts are choosing to date older. Here are a few reasons why.
- They are old enough to appreciate younger man’s ingénue charms.
- A liberating “now or never” mentality takes over as we get older (men and women).
- A dimmer switch is the greatest sex and beauty aid known to womankind – no need for breast implants or the fake tan.
- Who doesn’t prefer someone laid back and relaxed vs. someone always trying to be up their ass.
What’s in For The Older Woman?
As a younger man I may not remember Led Zepplin or John Lennon in their prime, but at least I can rock-out to the tune and look good doing so. Older men are passed over due their sluggishness with age, mid-life crisis, beer bellies, boringness and bald spots. Now I’m not painting all older men with the same brush, but not often do we see a solid looking middle aged man who’s well put together, and still has a zest for life? They’re far few in between sadly. One thing I always promised to my self, whether married or rolling single, that I’ll always do my best to upkeep my self physically, fashionably, and live life to the fullest. Thus far I’m doing a great job with two personal training sessions as week, mixed in with a lot of sports activities, a schedule that I’ve been on for sometime now.
I’m the first to admit that women are clearly over-taking men in the upkeep department as they age. Seems like many men let them selves go, and accept who they are, while their female counterparts are embracing life in a whole new way, keeping up with fashion, staying active, and even outliving their male counterparts. So, to no one’s surprise they’re also choosing to date someone younger – primarily due to similarities in lifestyle and amongst other things.
Beautiful part of today’s dating is that there is more choice than ever. Choice of where we meet our partners, how we meet them, and knowing that we don’t have to settle for the sake of finding a life partner just because we hit our dirty thirties.
Dating has changed drastically over the years. If you have tried dating in the last few years, and found it very confusing and challenging, you’re not alone! The number of singles is on the increase. There are many options to meet someone, whether an online dating website, on the street, Facebook, at the bars, and through speed-dating are just some of the more effective ways. Long gone are the days of our parents, where our parents got introduced to each other at a friends function.
Singletons are making up the majority of the population in the western society. Far more people are forgoing marriage, and instead they’re focusing on them selves, their careers, and the dating that comes along with it.
Almost every major dating market has more women than men. Older women and younger men dating is just one aspect. This works for some, but it’s not for everyone. I’ve been part of the dating scene for years now, and there have been many times I was looked down upon by vindictive older males who pondered over their shoulders whether she should date me or adopt me. Even some of my friends have taken jabs, made smirks, and outright commented in the past on young and mature dating. But, guess what? The same friends are now dating older, and commenting on how they’ve been missing out all these years. As for those vindictive older males who are dating someone their daughters age, just remember this: You can’t suck and blow at the same time. You’re doing the same thing.
I’m certain that this article has raised some eyebrows, but keep I shared mostly my experiences throughout my life. Deep down I’m aware that not all younger women in their twenties are immature, and not all older males are slobs caught in mid-life crisis. Everyone is different, and everything is a case by case scenario, however numbers don’t lie either. Take look next time you’re out and about, and you’ll realize how many older men are out on dates with younger women and similarly how many younger men are dating older women. We all have preferences, and the beauty of dating today is that there’s more choice than ever. In truth, for males or females, younger or older, age doesn’t matter – not unless you’re a building or a grapevine. So, younger men, and mature women, happy hunting. And just remember that age really is a case of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it don’t matter.
What are your thoughts on younger dating older? Have you dated anyone older than your self? What was your experience?
Photo Credits ( 26398905@N05)