Different strokes for different folks. That’s the way dating goes today. Long gone are the norms of dating in which you go to school, graduate, find a job, find your sweetheart, get married, and live happily ever after. Some would argue that happily ever after doesn’t even exists, but who am I to say that they’re wrong? Today people are getting married in their mid-30s, younger men are dating older women, the society has virtually accepts gay marriages, and older men are dating younger women everywhere you look.
There’s nothing wrong with any of the above scenarios, yet each of them often gets some bad rap. Who are we to judge? If the person is happy that’s all it matters.
When it comes to older men dating younger women, it’s a scenario that often labels the man as a ‘Sugar Daddy Relationship’. It’s a taboo topic that most would rather not discuss, but websites that promise to match older wealthy men with young attractive women have been thriving in America for years.
What once was a secretive process, today snagging a sugar daddy seems pretty straight forward, as there are more and more Canadians with cash to spare who are advertising their services online in hopes of landing a mutually beneficial relationship.
No Strings Attached
Sugar Daddy relationships are simply a mutually beneficial relationships. It’s probably one the most upfront scenarios of modern dating, as both participants know exactly what they’re getting into ahead of time. There’s no strings attached for either side, except a mutually beneficial relationship, where women sign up to be treated like a lady, showered with gifts, taken on all-you-can-buy shopping sprees, and the enjoyment of meals at the best tables in town. In return the man gets…ummmm………….. the ‘company’ for presents.
I realize some readers may be shocked by today’s topic, yet interested to hear about it at the same time, while others will flat out look this type of arrangement as soft-core prostitution.
According to a survey conducted by seekingarrangement.com, a website that connects prospective sugar daddies with “sugar babies,” Toronto has the most sugar daddies per capita in Canada, but Victoria has the most generous ones.
Vancouver’s sugar-daddies have reported that they had average incomes of $234,000, gave an average of $4,000 worth of cash and gifts to their “sugar babies” and had a net worth over $5 million. Majority of the survey respondents were professionals, executives, entrepreneurs and investors. The average age was 40 and thirty-two per cent reported they were married.
Toronto topped the list with 1.98 sugar daddies per 1,000 adult men, aged 21 to 84 years old. Calgary, Vancouver, London and Edmonton rounded out the top five, ranging from 1.13 to 1.71 sugar daddies per 1,000 adult men.
Interesting figures to say the least. Money may not buy love, but certainly buys happiness. Human beings are a funny specie, and it’s human nature that successful people want younger and more attractive partners. Some choose to the plastic surgery way, and others pay their dues through trips, gifts, fancy dinners, and shopping sprees.
I’m sure some of you may be surprised by the statistics, but you really shouldn’t be if you consider today’s dating. I find today’s modern dating that more younger men and women are seeking out more experienced, sophisticated, attractive, and wealthy partners who provide the maturity in life, finances, and dating that they can’t get with a partner their age. This isn’t to say that all younger men and women are immature, just very few are mature today. There’s a good chunk who live at home with mom and dad, party weekends away, have minimal goals, and limited-to-no savings in their accounts.
Young, Attractive and Educated
In many cultures, liaisons between the wealthy, generous and the beautiful were even considered an art form. That’s why online match-making websites that connect the mature and wealthy with younger counterparts are popping up more than ever. If you care to know, here’s a list of the more popular ones:
- Seeking Arrangement – www.seekingarrangment.com
- Miss Travel – www.misstravel.com (For the female world travelers)
- Diamond Daddy – www.diamonddaddy.com
- Sugar Daddy – www.sugardaddie.com
Websites like these are gaining popularity more than ever. The seekingarrangement.com website claims to have a million subscribers, with 10 women for every man. I’d sign up in a heartbeat, except I don’t have the financial credentials. The interesting statistic that pops out on these dating websites is a good chunk of the members are in school getting an education (going into debt) or recent grads with school debt. Over the past few years, the number of college students using such websites has exploded, and there doesn’t seem to be any slowing down due to expensive education. High unemployment rates are another reason for the explosion in memberships. Spending four years in school, only to graduate with no potential job, and $25k in debt is not easy for anyone – male or female. Majority choose to earn a honest paycheck by working a job not related to their filed of study, while others choose to throw out their self-respect by allowing someone else to pay their way. It’s all a matter of choice, therefore making this a taboo topic for most.
Upsides Have Downsides Too
Scenarios of the young women dating mature and wealthy men have upsides for both parties. However, there’s one downside that both parties share – commitment. Receiving money or gifts from a date is a way of saying “I like you, I want to spend time with you, I want to sleep with you, but I don’t want to pick furniture with you this weekend”.
Separating feelings vs. a business transaction is a hard thing to do for most. The longer the two parties continue to see each other, the more feelings develop. Usually it’s the investing men who are foolishly left behind simply because they forget the initial arrangement – the business transaction. Someone’s time, and intimacy in exchange for travel, cash allowance, shopping and fancy dinners.
Meeting someone from a sugar daddy website is not much different than being on the average dating website. There are millions of members, everyone claims that they want a relationship, yet they can’t get out on enough dates because everyone is hoping that the grass is greener on the other side, therefore majority are playing the field. Most sugar daddy dating women don’t want to commit, because they know there’s always better around the corner. They also know that every scenario is different, some daddies can’t afford to travel with them due to time constraints, others are not willing to spend as much, and for some its only a one time thing.
Finally, much like with anything else that pertains to money, when you have it good, you don’t want second best anymore. It’s hard to scale it down to the average guy, when the guy before was able to take you on weekend shopping sprees in NYC. Dating someone who pays for everything becomes euphoric, and most begin to believe that everyone should pay for them – even the average salary hardworking Joe. When a men whom these women choose pay for their company, it is hard not to get arrogant, and beliefs begin to surface that relationships are time-consuming chores, and time is precious, and certainly not free.
Dating a sugar daddy serves a purpose, and fills a need to a specific dating niche. Mature wealthier men dating younger women is some form of a modern relationship where two adults are honest, respectful, and upfront about a non-committal relationship. Commitment is not for everyone, and longevity is not something everyone desires either. Sugar daddy dating is not exactly a top-class escort service that charges $4k per night (think Eliot Spitzer), rather its a choice a woman makes for a short or longer period of time. I’m kind of surprised at the comparison these relationships get, and its often pertaining to prostitution. Women who sign up for dating like this, it’s specifically for monetary gain. Some put them selves through school, others enjoy having a closet full of Christian Louboutin shoes.
Every relationship has an element of exchange – time, money, feelings, thoughts, and intimacy. You have conventional relationships where most fall into, then there is the sex trade (sex in exchange for money), and dating a sugar daddy or momma falls somewhere in between. I’m the first one to admit that sugar daddy dating isn’t a model relationship, but the fact that some chooses to go this route doesn’t make them any better or worst than the rest.
Readers, what are your thoughts on these types of relationships? Have you ever noticed such when you’re out? Have you ever known of anyone who’s had this type of relationship?
All the best!
Dr. Eddie Love