Tis the season of giving and appropriately giving the right gift to your loved one can go a long way or fail miserably. This gift can say the world about you or it can become a ticking time bomb, especially if you’re in a new relationship. Shopping for a woman is hard enough for most men, but shopping for a Christmas gift is even harder. Questions start to arise – How many dates do we got to go on before I purchase my new partner a Christmas gift? How much is too much? Should I spend this much? What if they don’t like it?
These tricky questions lead to a lot of assumptions and concluding on the wrong final answer, could either make your new relationship sink or swim. So what do you do? Ultimately the end decision is up to you, but personally I’d go with some sort of a gift, versus no gift at all. This goes even for those relationships that are just a few weeks old. And what if you don’t get a gift in return? So, what I say! You did your due diligence, plus you learned something new about the person – they are cheap, comes to mind.
Shallow or not, we are human and unfortunately we place a lot of dollar value on gifts we receive. We all like receiving gifts, because it makes us feel appreciated and the thought counts too. And with that being said, don’t kid your self by not giving no gift at all or don’t be surprised if you’re dumped soon after.
There are no rules per se when it comes to gift giving, ultimately you place the final value on the gift. Buying too much, too early in the relationship can be a disaster too. Your partner may feel that it’s “too much” or simply they feel bad taking the gift, because their gift for you is something much smaller.
Stick to simplicity. If you just started a relationship, invite him or her over for a bottle of vine, cooked meal and that Starbucks gift card you got them. Your relationship is still fresh, so stay away from anything too personal – jewelery or perfume. I wouldn’t want someone buying me cologne after a weeks of dating, simply because they don’t know me very well and for the record – yes, I am selective with my cologne.
If you can’t cook, try ordering something and if you think that’s cheezy, than do your research and purchase a gift that you both can experience together. Doing something together will go a long way and shows your new partner that you enjoy spending time with them and would like to do so more in future. Avoid purchasing a book for someone, such as a cookbook. This may suggest to your partner that they can’t cook or maybe need to loose a few pounds, especially if you buy that “Healthy Cooking” book.
Some gift ideas that are practical, yet useful and people may look forward to receiving them. So here are some quick suggestions on gift buying for those in newly formed relationships:
Dating Time – Under 1 month
Nothing more than $50, ideally between $25 and $50.
For Him: Home cooked meal, gift card to movies, mall gift card, gas card credits or rock-climbing for two
For Her: Gift card to the spa, mall gift card or cooking lessons for two
Dating Time – 1 to 6 months
Ideally gifts should be over $50
For Him: Favorite cologne, cooking lessons for two, concert tickets for two
For Her: Private yoga/Pilates class or classes, favorite perfume, dance lessons for two
Dating Time – 6 months to over a year
A gift over $100 (or you choose the amount)
For Him: Tickets to a sporting event, annual pass to golf driving range, new golf driver or a tech gadget
For Her: Designer handbag, weekend getaway or diamonds (a woman’s 2nd best friend)
Remember that gifts are messages and your gift can send the right or wrong message to your partner. Showing your love goes a long way, but never put your self in a tough situation (such a taking on debt) in order to put a smile on someones face. Gifts come and go, expressing true love by doing those little things goes much deeper. Ultimately, giving a good gift is about connecting with your partner and not about how much was spent on the gift.