Whether you’ve been living with your significant other for 1 month or 10 years, money in a relationship is a hot topic. If you are new in the relationship though, you are still learning the others ways and still adjusting to a new money situation.
I’m sure we’ve all had them. If you’re in a relationship, without a doubt that there has been at least one money fight between the two of you.
There are ways to prevent money mistakes in your relationship though. Being aware of things that might happen and thinking of all outcomes is the first step.
1. Not talking about money
Different things work for different people, but when in a relationship, there should at least be some talk about money and how it is handled. After going past whether or not you should have separate finances or joint finances, of course there are other things to talk about.
This can include: How much money is spent on different categories, how often should we eat out, how we should spend retirement and when we should retire, how we should invest, how much do we spend on gifts and clothes, etc. The list is really endless.
Having monthly or weekly meetings to talk about how your money and budget situation is going is a good idea. This way you can get regular updates. Also, maybe setting a monetary limit for how much you can spend without having to consult the other (such as any purchase over $100) is a good idea as well.
2. Keeping secret money
Keeping secret money can mean a variety of things. Maybe you have a secret bank account, secret credit cards, secret debt, etc. You might not think it is bad in the beginning, but if your significant other found out, they might not be as happy and you might lose their trust.
Be open about the accounts that you have, and unless the secret money is being stashed for a present for the other, then it’s most likely not the greatest idea.
3. Not being on the same page.
With relationships, it seems that opposites (regarding money) attract each other. One might be a spendy spender, while the other is the frugal saver. If one person spends way more than the other, then resentment from the frugal saver might be build up and lead to a nasty fight.
Also, the spendy spender might be mad at the saver in the relationship because they might feel like the other person is being too strict in the relationship. Talking about money is especially important in this situation, because you don’t want one person feeling like things are not fair.
4. Not having a budget.
This is especially true if you are new to the money situation in a relationship. You two should at least talk about how much money should go to each area, and who will keep track of each part in the budget. This will help make sure that you don’t overspend and that you can keep your money in check.
5. Not talking about who handles the finances.
Having one person manage the finances just because it seems easier that way is not the best way to go. Whoever you think would actually be BEST at handling the finances is what should happen. Talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Maybe the financial responsibilities can be split among the two of you as well.
Also, make sure that the person who doesn’t regularly handle the finances knows how to do so, just in case something does happen to the person who normally handles them. This way you can be prepared.
What money mistakes did you make or do you currently make in your relationship?
Photo Credit (jollyuk)
This probably falls under the budget section but it was decided early in the relationship that I would deal 100% of finances. Hubby works as a project manager for an engineering firm where he manages million dollar projects. Simply put he doesn’t want to come home and deal with more numbers so he’s handed the reins over to me. This can be hard on me sometimes but I do my best to keep him in the loop. When I first took on this role I was bad for getting a little eager and paying bills earlier than they needed us to, leaving us short or out of cash when it was unnecessary.
Catherine recently posted..Tipping Etiquette: That’s My 16 Cents!
I don’t know if it’s bc I blog about personal finance but money is probably the LAST things me and Drewski fight over. We argue much more over house chores and work/life balance. We aren’t married though, so we keep things mostly separate and just end up reimbursing the other. Not the more detailed method..but it works for us. Great tips!
Lauren @ L Bee and the Money Tree recently posted..GUEST POST: 6 Frugal Ways to Connect with Friends via Snail-Mail
Mrs Scot and I are exactly the same.. we only argue about Chores…. THEY SUCK!!! We do our bills / accounts overview every couple of weeks and are always on the same page :)
Savvy Scot recently posted..The New Gender Directive and Your Pension
My wife and I are pretty good about money. Sometimes we have different opinions on what we think is a good purchase, but it’s always small items included in everyday shopping. We are always end up on the same page when it comes to anything big.
Sean @ One Smart Dollar recently posted..The Cost of Halloween Doesn’t Need to Be Scary
My wife and I decided right away that she was going to handle finances, and that’s worked out great. She’s great at it, and I hate it. THe only thing is, I have to do what she says financially. ANd I do, no problem. It works good for us. Although I think mnay men would be pretty upset if their wife was telling them what they can and cant’ do with money.
TB at BlueCollarWorkman recently posted..Lifestyle Carnival – 24th Edition
I handle all the money as well, and sometimes he does hate it when I tell him that he can’t buy things. But he eventually gets over it :)
Michelle recently posted..Retiring Abroad?
We talk about money often. I try to have at least a weekly “meeting” just to update him so that he isn’t completely clueless.
Michelle recently posted..Retiring Abroad?
We’ve made every one of these mistakes. Because we didn’t really move into a new place together and my boyfriend actually moved into my place, we just maintained the way I managed my finances. I deal with all bills and he doesn’t really have an exact idea of what our monthly expenses are. Although we do t argue money, I do feel as though I wish he’d be more involved… Something to work on.
Lesson learned – talk in detail about money before moving in.
Great post. We don’t ever fight about money and the reasons are that we first and foremost budget but we also talk about our money on a daily basis. We work as a team, we document everything, we plan and we know where we want to be. I know so many couples that are on different pages and are fooling themselves. One doesn’t want to upset the other so they keep their mouth shut and let the other spend until they are broke or they rack up a tonne of debt. Couples need to talk about money BEFORE they walk down the aisle and BEFORE they SHACK up. That’s my tip of the day. Cheers Eddie. Mr.CBB
Canadianbudgetbinder recently posted..Surviving A Lower Income On Maternity Leave In Canada
We never really talked about money so much until we started looking for a house. Now that we have purchased a house, we will definitely be having money meetings. I have a feeling that I will be the one taking the reins on the finances because I am better disciplined with money than he is.
MakintheBacon$ recently posted..All Aboard The Inca Trail Express- Part I