For all of you guys out there thinking of popping the question for the first time or maybe some of you are planning to pop the question again, I’d like to know how much would you spend on an engagement ring?
There are many theories on how much you should dish out, but the oldest tradition says that you need to spend two month’s salary on a diamond engagement ring. Depending on how your monthly salary – the numbers will vary drastically from one to the next. How much you should spend on an engagement ring is entirely up to you and—ideally—your fiance, too.
Gents, keep in mind that even though your finances are probably separate now, and may become joint after you get married, you’ll still likely be the one who’ll be on the hook for paying for the ring. Ideally you should never finance an engagement ring and if you really need some help to help, I spouse taking on a little debt (less than 20% of the purchase) price would be okay in my eyes, because let’s face it – if you don’t have the cash to pay for an engagement ring upfront – you likely shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.
I’m certain that nobody likes starting a marriage in debt! Not me at least. But, that’s just me, my thinking, and your circumstances may be different – especially if you got a gun to your head – if you get my drift.
How much others spend on engagement rings is one of my favorite money and gender questions, because it highlights the gap between rational answers and emotional responses. In my opinion, your engagement ring should be meaningful more than expensive – but who am I to judge, especially in a time and today’s generation’s were it’s all about bigger, better, and more bad-ass. I call it – competition 101.
Two Months Salary Doesn’t Work Anymore
If you’re following this old 1950s tradition at a time where men were the main breadwinners of the household, and women stayed at home up-keeping the household – I would say that you’re behind in times. Welcome to 2012, where cash is becoming obsolete, everything is paid on credit, salaries are tight, students are graduating with debt, and nearly everyone who gets married is walking down the aisle with some form of debt. It’s no surprise that many are forgoing marriage in their 20s, and getting married in their 30s.
Furthermore, more women than ever are working, and out-earning men in some fields, so why does it fall totally on the shoulders of a hardworking guy to spend two months of his salary on an engagement ring? Seriously, who has $8-10k sitting in their bank account ready to drop on a whim. I certainly don’t, and even if did – I highly doubt that I’d be spending that much on an engagement ring.This doesn’t mean that I don’t love my partner anymore or any less than the next guy who drops $25k on the rock. It’s all about being rational – and let’s face it – like anything that’s new and expensive – the excitement eventually wears off through time.
So, how much would you be willing to spend on an engagement ring? Okay, don’t tell me yet, but instead read this next section below before concluding on your answer.
Some Realities & Questions to Keep in Mind BEFORE You Buy
- Do you really want to be paying for something that you’re not gaining any true value (use) over the next 3,4,5 or 7 years?
- What does your spouse’s desire for an expensive engagement ring say about her? Are you certain you know who you’re marrying?
- The cost of an engagement ring does not define one’s love for their spouse.
- Today’s divorce rate is well over 50%. That means on average every 1 out of 2 couples get divorced for one reason or another.
- How does conscious spending play into the whole picture?
- How does culture play into the decision of how much to spend on an engagement ring?
- Do you give a shit about your status symbol?
- Will your future wife be comfortable talking about her engagement ring amongst co-workers, family member’s, friends or will she worry on how’s she’ll be judged?
The above was just some food for thought. Please, don’t allow such harsh realities to discourage you, by all means you are your own person who’s capable of making your own decision.
So, BACK TO THE QUESTION : How much would you spend on an engagement ring?
Best,
Eddie
Photo Credit (jasonjday)
Assuming he’s the one to propose, I don’t want him to spend more than a few thousand. Frankly, anything above that could be better used to go on a down payment for a house.
Daisy @ Add Vodka recently posted..The Life Insurance Movement: I’m Indifferent
Ohhh, that’s different ….why were you thinking of proposing? :)
Thanks for sharing my view – the cost of the ring does not define one’s love for their partner.
I don’t like the 2-3 month rule either. That is just a ridiculous amount of money. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with him spending more than a couple thousand. Also, if the ring was too expensive, I would probably never wear it, in fear that I would lose it.
Michelle recently posted..Do You Want To Be Self Employed?
Thanks Michelle!
Glad we share the same view on that.
What’s the MOST you’d want him to spend?
Hmmm I’m really not sure. All of our money is joint (we’ve been together for over 6 years and own a house together), so I don’t think I’d want to spend too much, as essentially I’d be spending my own money and I’d feel bad for something like that.
Michelle recently posted..Do You Want To Be Self Employed?
Call me crazy, but I don’t even want a diamond! I want a small, simple, white gold ring that isn’t flashy, that I don’t have to worry about loosing. My parents were married for 20 years before my mom got a diamond (she and my dad just had bands) and now they’re holding strong at 32! An expensive ring doesn’t mean more love, it just means more…money.
Keely recently posted..Cupcake Tuesday-Cinnamon Peach and the Tuesday Tango!
Keely,
So true what you said. I’m definitely going to use your saying “an expensive ring doesn’t mean more love, it just means more money” in a future post.
Thanks for sharing your parents story.
I definitley didn’t spend 2 freaking months salary. Taht’s a lot of food money, vacation money, mortgage money, etc!! I spent $675 and it was cash. There was no way I was going to be getting a loan and getting back into debt to “prove” my love for my wife. She picked the ring, loved it, and then I saved for it, and paid cash.
TB at BlueCollarWorkman recently posted..Can Motorcycle Semi Truck Accidents Be Prevented?
My man…that’s what I call “get errr done”. Great job, I’m proud of you to hear that, and that you were logical with your purchase.
Cheers to that!
I spent two months or 1.5 months of my salary years ago when I was making decent money. I guess it just would depend on my disposable income and how quickly I could accumulate the cash. If my budget was tight there would be no way I’d spend more than 1 month’s income, but if things are going well then 2-3 months isn’t the end of the world.
Jason @ WSL recently posted..Recipe: Vegetarian Bolognese
I hate the “2-3 months” rule. The amount of money I spend on a rock doesn’t prove or disprove how much I love my partner. For me personally, I’ve never proposed. But when I do, I can’t image spending upwards of $8K on a diamond. That money can be used for other things – like saving for a house, retirement or a vacation/honeymoon. Luckily, the girl I’m with now is on the same page with me when it comes to this sort of thing. She is expecting something nice, but not something that I have to go into debt for.
MoneySmartGuides recently posted..Top Cars of the Wealthy
It’s important to be with a partner who shares the same financial views as you. I can’t stress that enough.
I would want however much he felt comfortable paying. I’d rather him save a few dollars on the ring and pay for insurance on it since I’ve been known to misplace things a time or two :)
I don’t like the idea of a woman sharing in the ring expense-unless she really wants something extravagant then she should help pay for the overage. It’s a time honored, traditional gift from husband to wife-to-be.
Lauren @ LBee and the Money Tree recently posted..7 New Home Budget Busters
Does insurance cover for misplacement?
I’d be surprised if it does, but I’m unsure.
Anyone know? Anyone pay for such insurance?
From my understanding your engagement ring or wedding ring could be covered under your home insurance as there is usually a dollar amount associated with owned jewellery in the policy. It may not cover the entire cost of the ring but you can purchase additional insurance for that.
Chelsey recently posted..Debt Load
I spent two months salary for my wife’s
Sean @ One Smart Dollar recently posted..Reduce Investment Risk With Dollar Cost Averaging
I should clarify that I didn’t spend that amount because it was “2 months” but instead because that was the cost of the ring I wanted to get her.
Sean @ One Smart Dollar recently posted..Reduce Investment Risk With Dollar Cost Averaging
My husband spent the amount he wanted, and it ended up being $4k/2 months salary. $2k on the diamond (bought at a going-out-of-business sale so it was a good dead) and $2k on the custom setting, which we designed together a few months after he bough the diamond. He paid cash. I LOVE my ring and get many compliments on it – not because of the carats but because of the design. I’m not ashamed of having one piece of jewelry that I love. :)
Emily @ evolvingPF recently posted..How to Make an Irregular Income as Regular as Possible
I spent over $10,000 on my wife’s engagement ring and don’t regret it at all. I paid cash for it. She loves the ring, it’s absolutely perfect, but I also think she would have liked something cheaper as long as it looked beautiful. The amount I spent was mostly for me because I wanted to give her the best I could. I definitely went over budget, but that budget was sort of picked randomly too, I could absolutely afford it.
Also, the divorce rate isn’t really 50%, where is that stat coming from? I may have to write a rebuttal post because I think I disagree with most of what people here are saying!
Daniel recently posted..My Experience Buying My Now-Wife An Engagement Ring
Daniel,
A rebuttal post would be good, make sure you tag my post…LOL :)
And as for the divorce rate…yup it’s that high….not sure where you are…..but in Canada the divorce rate is pretty high.
Look around, read some of the media – it’s pretty scary.
However, it’s most important that you’re happy and that your marriage is sound. :)
Cheers!
The most I would want my boyfriend to spend is about $5,000. We’ve already had this discussion and agreed that it was a good number. It should be noted that while he will spend that amount on an engagement ring for me he will be getting a watch costing roughly the same in return :) He will also get a ring when we marry as well.
Chelsey recently posted..Debt Load
I guess I was lucky as Mrs.CBB is not into jewellery (thank goodness). I actually picked up the ring from a family member who bought a ring about 5 years back but never proposed. as he decided to go back to University to become a doctor. He spent over 8k on the ring and sold it to me for 1k with all the paper work and receipt plus I had to get it sized. He just wanted the cash as he said it was sitting around for years now and he had no interest in selling it or time for that matter.
Mrs. CBB loves it and for the wedding band she chose a plain band for just over $100. My ring cost $18.99 from a vendor in the mall and it’s awesome and almost everyone can’t believe it, but it’s true. At the end of the day I love my wife more than a ring and more than any amount of money. She has my heart. Cheers MR.CBB
Canadianbudgetbinder recently posted..Reader Question: How Much Debt is Too Much Before You Need To Budget?
2 months salary would be a nice ring… if I purchased it now. The problem is that I got engaged 15 years ago when I was still in college and had no real income to speak of. That ring, though modest by most standards, started me down the road of credit card debt and a credit card balance that I carried for about 10 years!
The engagement was well worth it. The debt, not so much. ;-)
Joe Morgan recently posted..$100,000 Doesn’t Buy What it Used to (and Why You Should Care)!
My husband was a broke college student when we were engaged. I think he spent $500 on my ring. I used to think I wanted a bigger one for our ten year anniversary, which is coming up next month, but I’d much rather go on a trip or even just save the money. With my job, a big ring would just get in the way anyhow. I’m not much of a jewelry person though.
Kim@Eyesonthedollar recently posted..How to Afford Expensive Hobbies
Hm. I would like to point out that the wife staying at home is just what works for some couples, and doesn’t mean that they’re behind the times. For us, it makes more sense (and cents) for me to stay home and work the side hustles while the little one naps. Believe it or not, I make more money by doing this than if I would have gone back to work. It is awesome to see that some dads are now staying home as well! If I had been the more financially successful of the two of us, I’d have no problem going back to work and letting Jeff take over baby duty!
Anyway, I do agree with the point that 2-3 months’ pay for a ring is ridiculous. My husband didn’t spend anywhere near that, and I still said yes! ;)
Michelle recently posted..Insurance for the Rainiest of Days
I love being “behind the times”! My wife is at home, we had a kid and a golden retriever/lab and a house in the ‘burbs. Lol. Traditional is not as boring as the media makes it sound. I actually think it’s a ton more fun :)
I spent about $5k on the engagement ring. $1k for the custom setting and $4k for the wholesale diamond through Blue Nile. My wife loves gushing about the ring, not because of the size, or cut or any of that, but because I spent a few months figuring out what she likes and designing it as a surprise to her. She would have been just as happy with a $0.99 right if she knew I put months of thought and research into getting her the perfect ring.
Jacob @ iheartbudgets recently posted..Death: The Only Reason For Life Insurance
I would have a heart attack if my boyfriend spent more than $1000 on a ring. I helped my BFF’s Spouse get her engagement ring he spent $12.50 plus tax. She loved the ring. I gave him her wedding ring which cost about $250.00. They are still finishing college. The price of the ring is just a number. It is the symbolism and the love that it represents. I also say if a girl wants an expensive ring and will not accept anything else then she is vain and the guy should move on.
Hi there out of curiosity, is the supposed ’2 months salary’ gross or net salary? I am assuming it’s net.
Simple Rich Living recently posted..Desperate times call for desperate meaures
It’s NET, because NET income is your actual spending income after taxes, taxes, and more taxes.
I spent a bit less than one month of my salary. I had to sell my COST stocks for it, though. But she liked it a lot and she doesn’t care about spending a lot of money, either, so it’s all good for me. I shopped around a lot, though. In the end, I bought a ring on internet (because they have pictures of each stone that you can see). It’s called JamesAllen.com. I recommend it.
John @ Calling the Puts recently posted..Money-Saving Tip #4
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Being a not big internet shopper to begin with, not sure I’d buy a rock online. That’s just me – I’m a touchy feely shopper..LOL
I was worried about buying diamonds online too when my bf and I were shopping for my ring, but I have to say we had a great buying experience, a friend told us about a company based in San Fran that had beautiful designs with non-conflict diamonds and recycled gold and platinum, green and eco friendly, we were pumped and the buying experience online was very personal, more engaging than just walking in and purchasing with a reg retail store jeweler clerk: http://www.brilliantearth.com/
How anyone can advocate spending thousands on a piece of rock that is worth more on the end of a drill bit than mounted on a ring? Going into debt for such a thing is the definition of madness. Then again, I’m a guy who doesn’t drive a car – not because he can’t afford it, but because I consider it an extravagance in an urban area. Thankfully, the woman in my life is also a rational being. The ring I bought is in no way coupled to my salary. What a goofy measurement. I paid cash for a nice little radiant cut diamond just a touch short of a half carat (a silly measurement considering it how much diamond faces up is the real measure of how big it looks; it looks bigger). Excellent “C’s” except for color. It’s a J – which a jeweler will tell you is the color of yellow snow, but in actuality is impossible to tell unless faced up next to a diamond two color grades or more higher, in perfect light, if you squint, and somebody told you. I spent $600 on the rock and $180 on the band. It is elegant, fiery, just a bit outside the “norm,” and non-pretentious, just like her. I also managed to follow her strict orders: “Don’t ever buy me something I have to insure.” We are both active and she wanted a ring she didn’t have to worry about hurting or losing. I spent less than 1/10 of what I keep in my “for fun” day-trading portfolio. Do we love each other any less because we refuse to buy into the status symbol measuring contest that DeBeers created in this country? I think not.