Wedding season is well upon on us and this year will be no cheaper for the guests than the previous year. For me, it might even be slightly more expensive. Between now and December, I have 4 weddings to attend and the costs will just keep adding up. It’s no secret that weddings are an expensive time for the bride & groom, but for their families too. Often overlooked are the expenses wedding guests endure. That being said, I am not trying to cynical about weddings. In fact I enjoy weddings quite a bit. How can one not? All the food, open bar and fancy attire, surely spell out a good time. A good time that has a cost associated to it. We all look forward to all the free food and booze, but as numbers keep adding up, that open bar and midnight buffet is not looking so free anymore!
Here is my projected costs for 4 weddings;
Average Wedding Gift Expenses – $600 (4 weddings X $150)
Bachelor Parties - $300 (on average of $150/night in spending X 2 bachelor parties)
Accommodations - $200 (Two weddings are a little drive ways away)
Clothing - $350 (new shirts, pair of shoes & 3 pocket squares)
Transportation – $70 (Gas & parking)
TOTAL COST FOR ATTENDING 4 WEDDINGS = $1,520
Not that I am trying to be a cheap-ass, but seriously that’s $1,520 that I don’t need to spend. Quite frankly, I’d much rather put it towards debt repayment. If I don’t go, I’m a total douche. If I go, that’s a lot of money for four nights of fun. Talk about a guy being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Thus far, I’ve replied to two weddings and confirmed my attendance. The other two weddings, invites are being mailed out. Keep in mind, that the above cost is just for me. If I take a date, that’s at least another $400. Pretty expensive if you ask me. Four nights of fun are roughly going to cost $2,000, with a guest or $1,520 for my self alone. Talk about expensive night’s out.
Now that I’ve done my bitch session on wedding season and how expensive it is, I wanted to share with you a graphic that I came across on costs to wedding guests.
Info graphic courtesy of EngagementExperts.com
How many weddings are you attending this year? & How much might they set you back?
Ah, yes! I’m just getting to the point where my friends are starting to get married, and this is definitely one of those, “Well, you’re an adult now!” things that hit me right in the face. Kind of like that point as a kid when you started to be expected to buy presents for your friends’ birthdays with your own money. I have to buy a wedding gift and a shower gift and a new dress and get myself to an event and sit with people my own age and not my parents? Waaaah?
I have just one wedding to go to this summer (plus another for a relative), so I’m easing into it. I figure between wedding gift and shower gift and new dress/shoes/whatever and the train ticket to and from (luckily it’s in my hometown so I don’t have to worry about a hotel), it might cost me between $150 and $200. Assuming, also, I don’t bring a guest. Which isn’t really horrible. But like I said, I’m easing into this thing!
Yeah I hear ya, easing into it is not bad, plus 1 wedding. Your cost is not bad. Pretty good estimation of $200 on the high end.
Have fun with it! When my friends started to get married, I had just started my first “career” job, had little time off, and a lot in student loans. HOWEVER, I managed to attend 4 out-of-town weddings in one year, and really appreciated seeing family and friends at the events. Gifts from me were minimal, and my friends never held it against me (imagine that!).
I am now planning my own wedding and really respect and appreciate those who will be travelling, and making the time to attend. I also completely understand when people decline (for whatever reason – and by the way Eddie, I think “my financial situation doesn’t allow me to attend” is a perfectly acceptable reason, if you need one), and would never consider them to be a “douche” just because they can’t make it or don’t bring/send a gift… but maybe we’re not your average couple (??)
This also brings up an interesting point: How many couples consider the financial effect of their choices on their guests? I know that catered meals are de rigeur, but really – why does the setting and food, etc have to be ‘over the top’? This creates a sense of ‘well, they’ve spared no expense, so I should spend a lot on this event as well’ for guests.
Why not have some really innovative settings now, such as a ‘videoconference wedding’ where out of town guests could simply log-in via the internet and watch the thing (live OR recorded), offer their wishes, and perhaps gift the couple with some of the money saved by not travelling? This would also save on reception costs for the couple and their families, and the technology is now readily available. In fact, it is likely that some guest will be broadcasting the nuptuals using their phones anyways…
A wedding is an exciting and stressful time for everyone involved. With a little careful forethought and consideration, it should not also be a financial disaster.
Good point. Unfortunately weddings have become a competition. Who has bigger, more food, flashier and so on. All at the cost of mostly the guests. Some people even sadly go into debt for their wedding. The saddest part of it all, are those who get married, go into debt over it and don’t last 5yrs, while the debt still exists and not paid off.
Weddings are one of the many life-events that many do not budget for (think also of birthdays). All the more reason to have a budget that includes short and long term planning.
That’s so true. I never budgeted before, this is the first year I am doing it. Foolishly enough, there were times when I even took money from CC to go to pay for extra costs for the wedding. Has anyone said thank you? or cared that I incurred some debt for the wedding? Nope!
More than likely you will receive a thank you card after the event. It’s important to remember that attending a wedding is an honor and entirely up to you. No one is forcing you to attend a wedding, especially one that you don’t want to go to… Maybe do the couple a favor and stay home since they’ll be paying for you to eat and attend. By the way, you don’t have to buy all new clothes for a wedding- no one looks at anyone other than the bride anyways! Nor do you have to spend $150 dollars on a gift. A card and gift certificate is plenty.
I agree no one is forcing me to go, but if I do go, no one is asking if I can afford it or not. If I don’t go, I look like the bad friend. As for the couple that will be paying me to eat and attend, I don’t think so. That’s what the $150 in the envelope is for. I essentially pay my own dinner, drinks and than some.
How about investing in a gift that does not involve a monetary amount shoved in an envelope? Try a gift basket membership or multiple small items from their registry. If they are good enough friends they’ll appreciate whatever you give them. Chances are, as a bride myself, they’ll be happy you came and enjoyed the fun. They probably won’t appreciate the blog posts circulating the internet. Keep in mind their costs are higher than yours, maybe cut back on the pocket squares- wear something you already have? And oh hey, maybe go halfs with a hotel room. There are plenty of ways to cut costs, live within your means. Keep in mind your $150 price tag for gifts is more than double what your graphic cites newlyweds expect from friends.
I am sure 99% of the newly weds would prefer cash over a gift. This way they can a) cover their costs or b) buy something they actually need ….maybe you are the lone 1% who prefers gifts over cash.
As for my blog post, its my opinion. No names are mentioned and it’s freedom of speech too. Controversial blog posts ….sure has worked for me thus far and I don’t see that changing.
Thanks though for reading and contributing your opinion. I love comments, for the post or like in this case anti….
I’m a bit stunned by these numbers. You don’t say that you’re in the wedding party and obliged to wear a matching outfit, so how do you end up paying $300 for clothes? Just wear a suit you already have to all the weddings. And $150 for each bachelour party? If you’re just paying for drinks for yourself and a share of the groom’s drinks, there’s no way it should cost this much. You could probably bring your expenses down to a total of $250-$300 per wedding if you cut this stuff down, which is not that bad.
I like to look good and don’t mind spending money on quality. I prefer a $100 dress shirt, to a $25 dress shirt. Just feels right. I don’t like overspending or indulge in too much, but clothes I like to pay more for quality.
This article is great. I feel like forwarding it to my friends and family. I have 5 weddings in 3 months. 2 were out of town and required time off work, hotels, food etc. I was a bridesmaid in one of them and the total for that wedding alone was $I200 (dress, hair, hotel, doggie daycare etc) I respect the comment about being able to say no, but Its not that easy. “Hey sister, I love you but I cant afford to attend your wedding. Hug Grandma for me.” — Really that is not going to go over well.
Oh well, what can you do?…
Yeah I hear ya Jackie!
Can’t miss your sisters wedding, nor should you. She’s the closest you got!
But not going to a wedding also has its costs — I’ve been advised that one is still required to send a gift when turning down an invite