Everyone tells a white lie on occasion, it’s just a question of why. I’ve made white lies many times in my life, and its a normal fact of everyday life. Some white lies are absolutely necessary in order for the society we live in to function properly. We tell white lies to save relationships, buy time, diffuse situations, and other times to get us into the door. There are many white lies people tell at different times. The list would probably be endless, but some white lies are more interesting than others.
Telling a white lie does not make anyone a chronic liar, rather its simply stretching the truth as that’s the easiest way out. We all fib a little, so don’t go denying now that you don’t tell little white lies as that would simply make you a minority in this subject. Honestly, I think the world is better off with white lies. Sometimes we just don’t want to know the truth, because at times truth hurts no matter which way you slice it.
As long as you’re not hurting someone intentionally, lying to better your self, breaking the law or lying every time you open your mouth, white little lies can be okay. They absorb tension, get us through a given moment and lighten the mood.
Finally, men supposedly lie six times more per day than women, and when someone tells you, be a man or a woman – “Nothing is wrong, I’m OKAY”, they’re really lying to your face.
Here’s my quick and dirty list of 35 money lies people tell regularly…and with some very sarcastic color commentary.
1. Your check is in the mail – “Geez really? You’re only a two weeks late sending me a prompt payment for the services I provided.”
2. You get this one, I’ll grab the next one – “Seriously?, because you said the same thing last time…the time before…and the time before that…WTF?”
3. I forgot my wallet – “Since you drove, I assume you forgot your drivers license as well…..but okay!”
4. I didn’t buy it, my friend bought it for me – “Hey, at least your friend has good taste. Great job friend!”
5. Mutual Funds are much better performers than stocks, because they’re managed by fund managers like my self – “I guess this is now where you’re going to tell me that your MER is 2.5%”
6. This fund can certainly beat the benchmark – “Benchmark of what….bean counting?”
7. Money buys happiness – “Yeah, that’s until the money runs out, that’s when shit really hits the fan….and then it gets really dirty”
8. Use debt as leverage to get ahead – “Totally true….that’s why everyone is doing it”
9. Expensive is quality – “Must be, that’s why you’re rocking that Gucci purse you bought on Canal St. in NYC”
10. Others are limiting my financial success – “Hmm the “others” must also be mixing the cool-aid you’re drinking now”
11. You don’t need a plan to get out of debt, just do it – “OKAY! How do we do it?”
12. Fake it till you make it – “That must be the reason you drive your bosses BMW to pickup his lunch everyday”
13. Before my bankruptcy, I had a 3,000 sq ft home & a purple Lamborghini – “Shit, you couldn’t sell off the mansion to avoid bankruptcy?”
14. My credit card bill is mailed to my office, so I don’t forget to pay it – “Translation: I can’t let the wifey see the Visa bill and how much I spend on drinks at the rippers”
15. I got it on sale – “Yes everything is on sale everyday, and you just happened to be there”
16. I don’t earn that much – “Lying to your significant other about your salary can be beneficial if you happen to be the “Tax Man” and do the taxes EVERY YEAR”
17. This is the safest investment you could go with – “Really? That’s amazing…I better get onto it before anyone else”
18. This stock is the next hot thing, mark my words! – “That’s what they said about Nortel and Research In Motion”
19. I’m a financial professional, you can trust me – “Yes and I’m Dr. Phil”
20. I’ve been in this business for over 20 years – “Seriously? You don’t look a day over 35….that’s amazing”
21. Money buys anything – “Money is only a medium of exchange you fool!”
22. “Fill in the blank of a company name” is healthy and fine – “Told By: Any CEO”
23. Diversify and minimize your risk – “Sure, how do I do that though? What do I buy”
24. Bonds are a great addition to your portfolio, and should represent a large chunk of portfolio – “The downside of stocks, with very very little upside”
25. Before you invest, speak to an investment advisor – “Will this make me feel better?
26. If I have a bad day, shopping makes me feel better- “Wow…we share a common interest…I do the same thing after a bad day by pounding a bottle of vodka”
27. I got an amazing deal, it was on sale – “Its still spending money”
28. I bought it at the store, and it was tax free – “I guess they forgot to tell you that tax was included in the final price”
29. People will like me more – “That dinner you bought for everyone on your credit card may bought you some love now….in two weeks nobody will remember the dinner…and in 21 days your credit card statement arrives”
30. I never play the lottery – “Except every Wednesday and Friday”
31. Whats mine is yours honey – “I really got a bank account on the side”
32. I’m still working 9-5 – “I just got laid off, and no severance package”
33. Oh this old thing? I’ve had it for years – “Actually I just ripped off the tags”
34. Hun, you know exactly what I’m making – “I just got a big fat raise, and didn’t tell you”
35. I bank only in Canada (or US) – “I got offshore accounts”
That does it for today’s post, and 35 white lies we hear daily or heard at some point of time in our lives. Next time you hear one of the above white little lies, simply do the following:
- Smile & Nod Your Head
- Turn Around (when time permits)
- Roll Your Eyes
- And as you walk away, create a mini gun with your fingers and pretend to blow your brains out
Readers, what is the craziest most insane white lie about money you ever heard?
Eddie
That’s a lot of money lies! “I forgot my PIN so I can’t use my debit card” “I have money, but I brought the wrong card”…working in retail I saw those a lot too!
Daisy recently posted..It’s Not Necessary To Pay For Your Kid’s College Education
Yeah I put together a neat, and funny list.
Wanted to do a light approach. I like the two you suggested as well, especially “I got money, but I forgot my card…” LOL
Eddie,
I’m also a fan of, “I put it on my credit card so I don’t have to pay for it yet.”
Fun and still educational list.
-Christian L.
Smart Military Money recently posted..Maximize Savings with a Summer Road Trip
Thanks Christian!
Some of these are actually truths that I tell… like when you go to the military base to shop for food and electronics, there is no tax. Also I monitor sales really closely – sometimes they put up sale signs and the price just increased the day before, so the price the next day will be its original price. I actually manage to only buy things when they are on sale!
“13. Before my bankruptcy, I had a 3,000 sq ft home & a purple Lamborghini – “Shit, you couldn’t sell off the mansion to avoid bankruptcy?””
was my favorite! haha
And in response to Daisy’s comment, I was at a pub with some friends and when our bill came a guy at our table (my friend’s friend, no friend of mine!) insisted his debit card doesn’t work after 10pm. Wtf??
I liked the #13 as well.
Its funny how often people use some of these lines, and they say it with such belief, and some even drop the puppy eye look..LOL
Seriously…wtf?
I guess I’m just overly honest and trusting, but most of the personal ones on that list were more truth situations for me. The ones with financial advisors though…total bs. It’s like they take a special course about generic lines like that they can give to help assure their clients.
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Jeremy,
Whats your favorite line that you use a a white-lie?
Don’t be shy, and share it! :)
lol probably the one about telling my girlfriend about how much I really make…don’t tell my ex that though haha.
Modest Money recently posted..Pros and Cons To Investing In The Stock Market Today
Haha, some of these are pretty funny because they’re also true. I hear #27 all the time. But could have saved even more money by just not buying it.
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Thanks for your comment. Glad you enjoyed the post! :)
Oh how this put a smile on my face today…..good read and love the sarcasm.
Thanks D!
Glad you enjoyed the read.
I told you before, don’t be shy to comment! :)
I think I have probably heard most of those out of people and 95% off them were indeed lies.
sean @ One Smart Dollar recently posted..Disney Premier Visa Credit Card from Chase
Its funny how many times throughout a week/month we hear some of these.
What’s even more interesting is how people are not reluctant to use them at any time.
“My credit card bill is mailed to my office, so I don’t forget to pay it” .. I got hit by this square in the face ahh!
That’s one of my favorites. Sorry for the truth…LOL
Word! Aren’t you concerned that the mail clerk at work won’t mix up where that bill goes and leave it in someone else’s inbox?
Monroe on a Budget recently posted..Dollhouse diaries: Customizing the dollhouse furniture
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay it off before the 0% period expires.”
Great list. I have been blogging about money for a while now, and find myself having to hold back from being too honest with people in my daily life.
John @ Married (with Debt) recently posted..Debt Payoff Progress – May
One blogging buddy once told me she didn’t earn anything out of the blog, full with sponsored poss. I did blew my head with finger gun :)
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“Expensive is quality – ‘Must be, that’s why you’re rocking that Gucci purse you bought on Canal St. in NYC’”
Ha! I used to own a Dolce & Gabbana wallet that I picked up from around those parts. Worst. Wallet. Ever. Then again, it was only $8. A couple years later, I picked up an $80 wallet from Bloomingdales when I was in NYC. After three years, it’s still beautiful and still going strong. However, I’d like to add, that I don’t believe you always get what you pay for. It’s perfectly okay to cheap out on many things.
Shawanda @ You Have More Than You Think recently posted..Make Sure Your Social Security Account Statement Is Correct
This one’s cute “Whats mine is yours honey,” (only those that you know of). Hahaha!
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11. “You don’t need a plan to get out of debt, just do it”
If it was only that easy, none of us would ever have any debts.
Geoff recently posted..Mobile Phones and Debt
I used to work in a high end retail store. Often women would come in and spend lots of money and joke to me, “Don’t tell my husband.” They would also spread the payments on several different credit cards too. $100 on this one. $75 on this one. Another $75 on this one. It was such a PAIN to do those transactions. Of course I would just smile and nod and hope they didn’t return the merchandise the next day.
MakintheBacon$ recently posted..Pack Your Purse Honey! We’re going on a Staycation!
I have to agree. Sometime we lie to protect ourselves and the people we love—like superheroes do. Although, nothing really heroic about the fibs that we tell and why we tell them. LOL. I tell quite a few of these money lies myself every now and then. Sometimes you just have to so judgmental folks won’t think badly of you.
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